What day is it again?

I'm kind of having one of those bobble-headed dashboard hula girls type of days. I actually considered about ten minutes ago, running to Barnes and Noble to find a book I've been looking for.

This is AFTER spending the last 45 minutes getting my lasagna ready to put in the oven. In roughly 20 minutes I have to take the cover off and let it crisp up a bit on the top. For a half a second I actually thought: I could make it there and back in time.

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIght. Attack of the 50-foot bobble heads. Everyone duck, I'm perambulating.

*sigh* I guess you just have times when life comes into focus, followed by times when it clouds up again. It's like sitting in your car on a good winter morning, surveying the frosty, silvery outdoors, and then suddenly realizing that because you're sitting there letting the car warm up, you've fogged your own windows, and then it's a mad race for the defroster, fan on high, and if you had my car last winter (or even earlier this month), the fan on high would cause some small gnomes to be tortured with sharp sporks under the hood, thereby waking up everyone in a fifteen mile radius.

I got the refund check today for my stocks. It felt totally defeatist to cash them out, but it was kind of a circular argument. Do I have enough money to buy a new car? No. Do I have a savings account? Not so much. Do I have money piling up somewhere? Yes, indeed I do.

So the other day I had to go online and cash it out. It was a low point in my adult life (or at least an adult moment in my otherwise childish life) to be cashing out stocks. I should have just made do, or have set aside money in an account elsewhere, but it just never occurs to me until far beyond the oh-shit-turn-on-the-defrosters moment. By the time I'm thinking about doing something, the windows are fogged and I'm distracted and making footprints with the end of my fist, kissing the windows and judging lip shape, drawing in the icy moisture.

I guess that's the way it goes. Life is partly cloudy, partly sunny, 50% chance of rain, 1-6 inches of snow in the forecast, drizzle through Friday. I cannot expect that on a daily basis I'll be able to function at full blue-sky capacity. Dusk comes early in the winter and for some reason, I can focus in the dark.