i've been feeling kind of empty lately, the empty i know i'm exploring when i bury myself in a book and/or craft project to the extent that i actually start worrying about it ending, because then i'll have to step outside the box and think about either a) what i'm going to do next or b) why on earth i'm feeling so watery.
is it because i'm a pisces? that could explain a few items, i'm sure.
it just seems to be ingrained in my flesh to wish-wash about life in general. i'm the gray spot, i'm dusk, i'm dawn, i'm fog and i'm sundogs. just in the corner of your eye, giggling, never taking up too much space if i can avoid it.
i often get the feeling that i have absorbed myself into myself. this brings me to the point at which i wonder why i can't get anything done, and if i'm so terribly self absorbed that i've become a true and utter *gasp* BITCH.
i mean, i do feel slightly pms-y today, and yesterday, and the day before. i'm almost positive that in the next week the moon will pull my tides right on out, and i'll be in full blown P.M.S., and painful to be around, let alone live with.
i am my very own annoying roommate. sorry, all.
anyway, back to the empty portion of the evening. so yesterday i reached this girly low spot when i could not get the dvd player upstairs to work (kept fuzzing out, i had sound but just a big blue screen where Shrek was supposed to be) so i gave up and turned on my happy little cd player...which started skipping the cd. the camel's back was broken beyond chiropractic repair. everything i'd been coiling inside of me, like a garden hose for winter, kind of uncoiled and flexed and was like, just get the freakin' kleenex, a pen, and your notebook. i did a bit of writing and of course, just when i'm thinking that i've got nothing left to spill onto paper, poetry runneth over.
it makes me feel better when i'm able to put words down on paper like that. nothing is quite as cathartic for me. except walking in the woods, but i've only got sat and sun to do so, and i kind of wasted the weekend hiding from car salesmen and the possibility of having to push back when looking at vehicles.
all in all it turned out to be a good weekend. i really needed to get that nasty monkey off my back, and i'm a weeper, so that'll do it. i also found a new book i've been enjoying the hell out of: kate collins' "mum's the word." quite fun. i'll have to ship it out to you, serena, after my sisters go through it.
anyway, i'm off to clean up the current craft project of the month. i can't tell what it is because it's someone's christmas present and i refuse to spill beans. (; i hope you'll like it, s--nuff said.
grins all -- k (:
No comments:
Post a Comment