don't have long to type as it's been crazy in here. just wanted to vent a little bit. the so is thinking of doing something i've never been able to do--just take a leap of faith. for someone so opposed to having the world help him, he sure leaps in like someone on the edge of mosh pit. i guess maybe that's why he doesn't mosh. LOL
anyway, i'm scared. i have to admit it. i can't help it. the last time he did this it brought all the problems in our relationship to a head, and ther ewas this whole "we are separating" thing that i had to do in order to remain sane. i'm not sure i want to do that again. and i know that there is always the possibility of it happening, but there is an equal if not better chance that life will be fine.
what kind of upbringing did i have to be so scared of money, so scared of being without money? was it watching my dad work all the time to support us? or my mom stretch things to make them fit? is it pride? is it some irish fear of being without potatoes? (; i can't put my finger on it. i know that part of--if not a great deal of--my isue with dan doing what he's going to do--is that he will have to depend on me at some point. for the most part i love to help--to be here for people, to lend a hand, to be depended on. but when it comes down to my bank account i get very, very touchy. and i just don't know why. it's not like i live beyond my means or anything. i don't know.
but i better get back to work!
4 comments:
Kim, it'll be ok. We're here for you. Hope that work calms down.
Hey, you can always come mooch off me. I don't mind. And you'll make it. You're as ornery as I am. I have utter confidence in you!
It's a good thing that I haven't done it yet then, eh? At least the decision wasn't hard enough already.
Hey, remember those of us who aren't there don't know what's going on! I'm still waiting to hear from Dan what exactly is going on!
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