aural serendipity

i don't often pick up new music because i don't hear too darn well. in fact i ought to be that old lady in the chair, with the giant cone held up to her ear. i'm partially deaf, and if you know me well enough, you stay on my right hand side.

if you don't know me that well, you'll probably stumble at some point when i dash around to your left, to make sure i can hear what you're saying. i do read lips, but not well enough to get by entirely on that alone. it's all about positioning myself; in the good times when i'm not unhappy to be deaf, i think of it as a sunflower just getting in the way of the rays, turning and twisting.

at other times, when i'm laughing at a joke i can't hear, or sitting at the wrong end of a table confounded by the conversation, it's a burden, one that i don't want to carry.

in the scheme of things, it's a pretty small burden--all my limbs work, my eyesight is fine, etc. it's just this bum ear.

anyway, at work, the gal to might right (the good side) turns on her radio every day. i can hear the words if the singer is the right pitch; most of the time i just tune it out, because i'm on the phone or concentrating on something else entirely. lately there's a song that's played over and over and all i can hear is the chorus: just breathe.

who is the singer? what does the rest of the song sound like? the deaf girl knoweth naught.

last saturday i met my sister downtown for a concert. she's pressing me to get a myspace account, because she has one and is addicted to them. while waiting between bands i glance at the up and coming posters--who's travelling through. one name sounds interesting.

so a few days later when i finally give in and set up my my space account, i look up the name. the song playing on the account is not familiar; i click on the next one available.

and there it is--just breathe.

so yesterday the deaf girl bought a cd. listened to it for a good three hours last night. and i really, really like it. the words are well wrought, and anna nalick's voice is a little smoky, a little husky, a little young. there's something warm about it that appeals to me in the same way that norah jones did, years ago.

strange turns take you to where you need to be. this isn't my normal listening music--generally i like heavier rock, and recently i just keep listening to the same Disturbed cd over and over. so it was time for something new, i suppose. it's just strange the path that you can see, once you have arrived at some stopping point on the journey.

***
Breathe (2 am) -- Anna Nalick, off "Wreck of the Day"

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,
I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason

'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

May he turn 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist,
"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
woah breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe.