i haven't set a timer, but i've alloted myself 5 minutes to type this morning. we'll see what i come up with, or rather, how much i come up with, or how far over i go...
right now, it's 743 am.
yesterday i was half an hour late for work. i think the apathy is getting worse. i'm tired today, but not nearly as tired as yesterday. i just feel like i'm plodding along, no end in sight, when i could be skipping or running or something. i'm not even meandering, i'm just plodding.
745 now.
i keep thinking about the homework that my tdoc assigned to me, and it still seems insurmountable. i think my secondary issue is that i feel like i don't want to put pressure on people who don't care about me. i'm trying to change that attitude because i dislike the thought that i am being a hypocrite--it's difficult for me to not care about someone, so why should it be so easy for someone to not care about me?
delusion, i tell you, is a beautiful gray place. 746 am.
i only have one more minute before i have to disconnect. i'm trying to drum up some motivation to do anything--last night i got home and dan and i did go for a nice walk in the newly-unhumid outdoors. but i'm trying to stir it up so that i do more than just walk. there are things i need to complete--not just moving the dresser upstairs, thank you dan, but maybe moving some things INTO the dresser. not just airing out the trunk, but actually cleaning up the outside, too. not just ruminating on the homework, but actually completing it.
anyway, it's 748, and my time is up.
2 comments:
As always, anything I can do to help. Remember what Darin's mantra says, if you can't change it yourself, get someone who can to do it for you.
I found this book at the cheapo wholesale overstock booksale a few weekends ago that I'm really enjoying, and I think you might enjoy it, too. It's called "Calm At Work", and it talks about how to adjust your attitude so that work doesn't stress you out or drain you, and you feel like you're accomplishing something by showing up every day.
I'm not sure if it would work or not for you, because everyone is different and your situation is quite a bit different from mine (I was just getting so stressed at my job that I could barely function), but you never know, it might help. Just thought I'd mention it. ^_^
--Sara
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