gift

wednesday morning, en route to work, i opened my first gift...little early. you could call me greedy, i supppose but it was freely given--good songs on the radio, sundogs that encompassed the sun, frost gilding trees, and those five geese, defying gravity overhead. i smiled the whole way to work.

it was a nice feeling, the generosity of the world. some days i think that the planet's really got it out for me--monday in particular, when my six mile drive took 2 hours because of ice on the roads and forty-five minutes into the drive i realized, as i was finally getting onto the highway, that i had to pee like a racehorse--but for the most part, it's just nature. the ice would happen with or without me, if i was driving or walking or rollerskating to work. (god forbid, let me tell you what...the rollerskating bit, okay?)

anyway it's that divine conglomeration of so many things--the music, the view, car running smoothly. all contributed to an absolute feeling of joy.

i felt like someone sat down the day before and planned out the morning, just so that there was no way i could arrive at work in a bad mood. impossible, what with the singing and the gazing and the speeding. (let's be honest, i was going a bit over the limit...but the state patrol officer was on the other side of the bridge, behind me, already occupied with someone else who'd apparently been similarly influenced...)

today i'm at my parents' house. but just for the day. tonight we drive home, and then tomorrow morning over to eau claire. it'll be nice to spend time with dan's family--everyone together again--but at the same time, it's going to be tiring, and stressful. nothing can make up for that walking-on-eggshells feeling i often get around his mom--it's just automatic, like the sun coming up this morning. i'm trying to adjust by wearing thicker glasses, donning thicker skin, and trying to avoid confrontation. which is something that i've done all my life, so it shouldn't feel like a muscle strain, right? (;

so wednesday morning, thank you. thank you for being lovely without trying, and thank you to the radio people for playing songs that make me shout along in an off-key and quite karoke style. thank you for your artless gift of life, and thank you to whatever divine prescence opened my eyes at that moment and bluntly informed me that i needed to see the beauty.

thank you to all my friends too--who sent cards and called--i will try to keep up but i'm feeling a bit defeatist right now...too much to do, not enough hands to do it, and certainly not enough time LOL. thank you to eero for the barnes and noble certificate, and thank you to dan for shaun of the dead--i have a feeling we'll be watching that today, and laughing just as we did in the theatre. also it has outtakes! brilliant!

off to see if i can help mom out in the kitchen at all--sounds like potica is being made and this will require my non-expert use of a rolling pin. (;

cheers all--i hope your holy days are filled with joy--k(: