once upon a time there was this girl who didn't sleep well on sundays. she tried and tried but it was just a flop. every sunday she had to be coaxed into bed. and this sunday in particular she just could not sleep, despite being groggy already and toasty warm. she had to fight with her significant other because he thinks, nay, knows that his life is over at the age of 29, because the dreams he had for himself are not coming to fruition.
now this girl's a dreamer. she dreams all the time about coulda, shoulda, woulda, and sometimes even dreams with glass slippers and knights, just for spice. but she never would think of her life as over. ever. she has too much to live for--family, friends, the next book that comes out, the next thunderstorm, her cat. you name it. last night she wanted to give up, because if all you're living for is a goal, then what is the point of the journey?
anyway last night this girl dreamed that she was living in an apartment building, and that her cat had gotten out of the apartment and the college girls upstairs had a party and shaved her cat. they left long strings of fur and braided those. the apartment was crowded and awful, dirty and bug-ridden. the girl wanted to know why she was living in such filth--it was like waking up or something and realizing this, just in this dream. this girl didn't want to take the stat answer of "well, it was all we could afford, and you'll just have to let the cat's fur grow out," which was her mother's answer, shouted from a different room. she stomped into her room and slammed the door, saying, i'm so angry i could spit.
which she is, mainly because no matter how bad life is, there is always someone who has it worse, and this mantra keeps her happy for the most part. it's the line she heard as a kid about eating the food on her plate because there were children starving in africa. those kids, now they've got it bad. this girl, she's got it pretty good. and she thinks her significant other does too--sometimes paring down your life will lead you to a different window, one you didn't see prior to that because you were staring out the front door. this girl has yet to find hers, and she's pretty sure that he has yet to find his, too. but sometimes all you can do is wait for the window to open.
the moral of the story? this girl should have gotten more sleep.
1 comment:
You know, I think that's one of the many things that you and I have in common. I don't look that far ahead into the future--I'm much more entranced by what's happening in the 'now', or in the immediate future. Maybe it's just the way we are, as Pisces. Maybe it's just because we're cool. :P
And it's interesting that you got a dream-lecture from your mother. Not that long ago, I had a nightmare that involved my brother stealing my checkbook, then refusing to give it back when I pleaded with him to do so. When I complained to my mom, in the dream, she said, "Well, you should've kept better track of your checkbook!" The funny thing is, when I told my mom about the dream in waking, and told her what she'd told me, she agreed that it was sound advice. Mothers. *shakes head*
*hugs*
--Sara
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